By Cleopatra Eki
Relationship Experts in the country have called on the need for men and women to embrace the idea of self discovery as a journey they must embark on before going into the marriage institution. The Convener Pro-version Man and media expert, Mrs. Wemimo Adewuyi made the call at a 1 day training held at Anthony Village Lagos.
”Humans are products of nature and nurture, which reflects how people behave and interact with others; they could be positive or negative behaviors that were carried over from childhood experiences, parents, environment, peer- pressure amongst others. ”
The men’s event includes interactive sex discussion, financial and investment opportunities and practical session. She added that people should embrace self discovery journey, know themselves, purposes , what they want before going into marriage, so that they don’t end up abusing their spouses physically, emotionally or verbally.
According to her, couples should know the five different love languages namely act of service, gifts, act of affirmation, physical touch and quality time .We all have different love languages, so must know how to express them to better- half or parents, children and families.
She observed that, there are lot of trainings for women and the girl-children but very few training for the men which have resulted in conflicts and domestic violence at homes and all sphere of life. It is not gender based since it affects both male and female in the society. She disclosed that with her job as an On Air Personality on radio over the years ,” I use all my platforms to change the wrong narratives”.
Urging participants to read as well as listen to healthy radio programmes, to unlearn and relearn good values and behaviours that would enrich the people and families. They can use the social media and counselling platforms to keep their sanity, homes and lives. Speaking at the event, Mr Adeyinka Ogunnubi, Chief Executive Officer, The Man Network and marriage coach advised men to define their relationship , goals , vision and plans as single or as a married persons.
Men should take responsibility not pushing the blame to their wives. Love is a decision and not only a chemistry. Ogunnubi charged men to read books extensively about anatomy of woman, because man and woman are wired differently. Women are very complex in nature they perceive things differently from men.
He added there should be effective communication with wives and in-laws, financial communication, cultural communication, listen more and display unconditional love to their wives for her sacrifices, from dropping off her father’s name for you, caring for husbands, children and building a peaceful home. Women are good home managers, that is huge and worth appreciating.
He cautioned families and people to use certified marriage counsellors when faced with challenges in relationship or marriages, instead of soughting wrong advise from people who were not trained. Men should avail themselves for training , multiple stream of incomes to sustain the families and never undermine any unresolved issues in the home. He observed that most homes are in a stressed state.
A man wants to come back home to peaceful home and spend quality time with his wife and family, Mrs. Modupe Ehirim added that, In the 21st century, we have different values, exposure, expectations and influences compare to the past years. We are living in digital age, people are more sophisticated, educated, exposed and financially stable for today’s women, unlike the olden days, our mothers, women, sisters were limited, unempowered and financially incapable.
She used the illustration of Nokia phone and Android phone to drive home her point, since android phone is modern with more features to multi tasks, while the Nokia phone is old fashioned and outdated. According to her, people should be open-minded and accommodate different beliefs, cultures and traditions of other foreign marriage rites, they try to know and compare whether these marriages and lifestyles are better than what they know and experience.
